Friday-Weigh in Day 1

So today is Friday....let the hyperventalating about the weekend begin.  I feel really, really strong lately.  I have been so on point with my exercise and my eating.  I feel really great and my clothes are fitting better.  I don't have any great pictures as I am getting used to this blogging thing.  That is really my only commitment I have not been keeping up with, updating the blog.  I am forcing myself to update and keep up on it as it will help me keep my focus.  Or so I hope.

I am really excited because I ordered this and it is waiting for me at home

I can't wait to see how many calories I am burning during my workouts.  I have become really obsessed with the calories going in and calories going out. 

So my plan for the weekend is to get in as many workouts as I can.  I am pretty tired because I have been waking up so early to get my cardio in.  I need to just keep focused and get to the gym. 

So I did weigh in today and depending on what my starting weight was I lost around 4 pounds!!!  That is so cool.  I can get really attached to that number though, so I am thinking about not checking for a while since I feel so good.  I tend to let it really get me down if it is not what I want to see.  Even though that is a great number, part of me wanted to see something bigger.  I can seriously fluctuate 5 pounds like its nothing so I need to try and let it go.   My goal is to just keep doing what I am doing, it really seems to be sticking, and see what happens.  Don't let myself get all bummed out over the number on the scale.  

My Weekend

So over the weekend I didn't do great, but didn't do as bad as usual......small victory.

I worked out everyday, which was great.  I am really into my workouts right now, I think that is because I am trying something new and they are shorter routines with high intensity.  Don't get me wrong, I have made excuses a million times before no matter what plan I was trying to follow so I am really excited.

I still am getting my butt out of bed and going to the gym early and dragging my butt to the gym late.  Sometimes working out twice a day.  So I am really proud of myself.

Monday morning comes around and I am right back on track.  Feeling really good.  I have not weighed, I had some wine over the weekend and that can screw with my weights.  I feel really good though, and feel better in my clothes.  The scale can discourage me big time, but I am not at the point where I could care less about that number.  I have quite a bit of weight to lose so it needs to come down.

Here's a picture from Sunday night, not really on plan but oh well.

Oh and I actually bought myself two new shirts, I wear one today and have spilled on it twice.  This is so like me.  I can't keep something nice for more than 24 hours.  So frustrating.

Motivation

Funny that I am doing a link up to a post about motivation!! 




 I feel that my weight loss journey is just beginning, well actually its been going on for years but I am feeling it click for the first, second, third.... OK, millionth time.  I would like to think that I don't lack motivation but I lack confidence to keep going.  One thing I have realized the last few days is that I truly do have a lot of negative chatter going on in that old head of mine. 

One of my HARDEST things I deal with is my weekends, so I really enjoyed all of Lori's recommendations on fattofit41.  The problem is actually doing them!  I truly think my weekends are a mental battle so that is what I am trying to deal with now, my mental game.

One thing I have been doing is trying to say something positive to myself every time I have a negative thought.  I tell myself, why not me?  Why can't I be the one that succeeds in this weight loss struggle? 

I will find myself thinking I can't do this, it is to hard.  I am so tired....what crazy person gets up at 4:45am?  I AM!!!!!  And I am doing it, and as long as I am doing it,  I tell that voice in my head to beat it.

It really has also helped writing out my goals and accomplishments, and following all these blogs.  When I wake up at 4:45am and really want to just go back to sleep, I jump on instagram and see all these woman tearing it up at the gym and it gets my butt out of bed, because why not me?  I can and I will do this.

So yesterday, I ate really well in my calorie range.  I am working hard on listening to my body and giving myself a healthy snack if I am really hungry and not beating myself up for it.

I did the tabata last night that I had mentioned and it was great.   With my busy schedule doing shorter more intense workouts might really help me stick with it.  Wish me luck for my weekend!!!!! 

Workout plan

So yesterday was much better, I stayed within my calories.  Didn't have any major breakdowns so that is good.  I went and got a cardio session in last night and even woke up early this morning to get my weight training in!!!  I plan on doing a cardio session tonight as well.

So I came across a blogger who really seems to use the tabata training to get herself in shape.  I know it kicks your butt as I have done this type of training before but not on a regular basis.  I used to take bootcamp twice a week, but wouldn't do much else in between, so I didn't see that great of results.

I think I am going to incorporate the tabata training into my routine to see how it goes.

I have been using the cardio and weight exercises from this book

Which I heard about from a blog called Skinney Meg.  There seems to be a sense of shorter/harder workouts.  Sounds good to me.  I think if I kick my butt daily, I will see results.

The tabata workout I found is from Jill Coleman's blog, which I heard about from fattofit41's blog

I think I am going to do the tabata tonight instead of my cardio routine from the book. 

The best thing is that I feel really positive, I really feel like I want this and that this may be my time.  As soon as I say those things to myself, the negative chatter begins like.....yeah right you haven't said that 100 times before.

My other goal is to keep that chatter out of my head, because it just makes me quit.

Now I am going to do something that makes my palms sweat and I want to go throw up....put up on the internet some before pictures.  Holy shit, I need a shot.

Chances are no one is going to see this, but I have an extreme phobia of sharing before pictures and my weight with anyone!!!  Chances are I will never put a number on here...I don't know why....its not like I don't walk around all day looking like I do.  So two of the pictures are from farther away, and distance definetly makes me look better....LOL.  But I added in the close up, that really makes me cringe just to be real.

 

 



Yesterday was definetly NOT the day!!!!

So I went into yesterday full of good intentions.  My food list for yesterday was:

Breakfast-Protein Shake
Snack-Almonds
Lunch-Chicken,brown rice, broccoli
Snack-Hummus/Veggies
Snack-1TBS all natural PB on toast (this was before a baseball game at 5pm, and I knew I wouldn't eat dinner till late, and I was hungry)

I thought I was so good to throw in that snack before the game to help avoid any major crashes, from being so hungry I could chew off my own arm, or steal goldfish from the family next to me.  You know one of those families that has everything so together, that they have the cooler full of sandwiches, healthy snacks and drinks for the 5pm weeknight baseball game.  Yeah that family....and for the record I am NOT that family.

(this is not my son, I stole another Mom's picture, but we were at the same game.  Considering no one will ever read this I don't think she will mind.)


So we get home and nothing was taken out for dinner and my husband says we should go get ourselves some Jaffa tonight.  (our favorite Greek food).  I thought, ok, I have a healthy salad that I get there.  I can come home after, get the kids ready for bed and do my gym session.  Sounded good to me....so we fed the kids and left our little ones with our 14 year old.

As we head out my man keeps going straight when he should have turned.  I look at him..."where are you going."  He gives me his sheepish little grin, and says "I thought we could go to 15 degrees instead."  Oh shit!!!  I give him my deer in the headlights look, and stammer something about how I am trying to be good.  I can't go to the local wine bar.  I'm not drinking.  I'm trying to be good damn it!!!  Now my husband is very supportive, and would have gone straight to the restraunt.  But I just couldn't resist the thought of a.) being alone with my husband b.) no kids c.) wine d.) being alone with my husband.

I know there are supposed to be no excuses, but you have to understand with 5 active kids, two full time jobs and a toddler that really counts for like 2 extra kids, when your husband gives you the sexy smile and says lets do the wine bar........you GO!!!

So we went....had a great time.  Had so much to talk about that we were jumping subjects and couldn't keep up with what we were talking about.  We held hands and walked in the rain to go down the street to see a friend who works at a  restraunt and tell him about how amazing his son played in the game,  had one more glass of wine and then went home.  I will not regret that night. 

My diet plan allows for two cheat meals a week, so I used one on a tuesday, sue me.  If I can just stay on track the rest of the week.  And only allow myself one more cheat meal, and get all my workouts in I will be on plan.

Our dinner consisted of a caprese pannini, and hummus and crostini.  Two Three glasses of wine and a berry cobbler.  Probably over the 1500 calorie allotment of a cheat meal, but oh well.

So back at it today, I WILL follow plan and tell my husband no if he gets any ideas! 

I also need to pick a weigh in day.  I used to do Monday's and just think I am punishing myself since my weekends are my hardest obstacle.  So I am switching it to Fridays as my official weigh in day, hopefully my good numbers will help me motiviate for the weekend.

My First Post

MY FIRST POST

 

 

I am starting this blog after a life long journey of struggling with my weight and general struggles with body image.  I don't have any intention besides it being a place where I can be accountable for my actions.

 

My journey started long ago and at this particular point in time, I feel like I have a good diet and exercise plan and a strong desire.  My biggest challenge comes with consistency, my WEEKENDS (which kill me every time), and the constant negative chatter in my head.

 

This will be a place that I have to come everyday to post my progress and be accountable to me......nobody but me.  Really this is like my last ditch effort to really make this happen for me.  Of course I will really never stop trying, but I don't want to wake up and be 50 and still obsessing about the size of my theighs!!!!  That thought kills me, it infuriates me and I will not let it happen.

 

This quote is posted on my mirror in my bathroom, its about time I started and stopped with the yo yo dieting I have been doing.

 

So here it goes, I am going to start today by posting a set of short and long term goals.

 

Short Term

 

1. Post on the blog everyday....EVEN WEEKENDS.

2. Follow my food plan for 30 days....EVEN WEEKENDS!!!

3. Workout at least 5 days a week

 

Long Term

 

1. Fit into a size 8

2. Like what I see in the mirror

3. Be the best ME!!!!  Physically and mentally

4. Lose 50 pounds by September 1st.

5. Be able to wear a pair of shorts

6. Get a healthy relationship with food, if I have a treat learn how to stop at 1 and not let it     ruin all my progress

7. Have healthy be my life style, be my rule not my exception.  Change my way of life!!!!

 

Ok, I think that enough for now.

 

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."

~Henry David Thoreau